The Purpose of my Life

Evangelion Fan Fiction

The Purpose Of My Life

By Kraven Ergeist

The First Children regarded the evening sunset, as the glowing orb that kept the Earth slowly spinning disappeared from view before another horizon. The people around her had slowly disappeared. Each of them had faced what life had brought them, and come to question their purpose for being there. Finding no answers, they began to leave. One by one, each human being found itself lost and saw no reason for it being there.

But not Rei Ayanami. She had known of her purpose since the day of her creation. And it was drawing nearer. She could feel her own AT field even now slowly beginning to build itself up, much the way an oyster slowly creates a pearl deep within its belly.

A sound caught her attention, as her eyes briefly moved away from the portrayal of color beset across the horizon. There, sitting above her on a pile of rocks, was a boy of white hair and pale features. Curious, Rei studied this stranger, listening to him hum a simple song over and over again to himself as he himself seemed to appreciate the setting horizon.

“It’s a beautiful sunset,” she heard the boy comment. “It has set many times before, and is destined only to set again on the morrow.”

Rei only blinked at the boy’s strange poetic breach of silence. “Who are you?”

“Nagisa,” he answered simply. “Kaworu Nagisa. The Fifth Child.”

Rei nodded. “And why are you here?”

Kaworu shrugged his thin shoulders. “I’m simply enjoying the view.”

Rei shook her head. “That is not what I mean. What is your purpose?”

“Purpose?” Kaworu said, getting up from his sitting position. He dropped down so that he was level with the girl. “No purpose for now.” Idly, he began skipping stones into the water. “What about you, Ayanami Rei? What is your purpose?”

Ayanami looked away, closing in on herself. “My purpose is to bring all things back to the beginning.”

Kaworu nodded. “That’s certainly a worthwhile endeavor. But what to do in the meantime?”

Rei shook her head. “I do not understand.”

Kaworu skipped another stone. “Life is more than what you are. Who you are until your purpose is fulfilled is still up to you.”

The First Child frowned. “I still do not understand.”

Another stone skipped idly across the surface of the lake. “I suppose you wouldn’t.” Kaworu tossed the flat rocks idly in his hands, going over the right words in his head. “Do you look forward to the fulfillment of your purpose?”

Rei did not answer.

“Here: my goal is to unite Adam and Eve,” Kaworu said, throwing another stone. “So, I guess that’s my purpose for now.”

Rei watched as the piece of flat earth patted again and again over the surface of the lake.

“And you know something?” Kaworu said, throwing another. He threw this one as hard as he could. “To hell with my purpose.”

Rei stared blankly at the boy.

“I don’t have to like it,” the boy went on, throwing the last of his stones into the water. “I’ll still complete my purpose, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” Kaworu brushed his hands off and returned to his sitting position on the rock face. “So, in order to stay true to myself, I’m going to enjoy the time I have before I fulfill it.”

Rei did not say anything. There was nothing to say. Kaworu had conveyed his point. And Rei understood. That was all that was needed. The two of them simply remained there, enjoying the remainder of the sunset in silence. No further words passed between them as they each contemplated the inevitability of their respective fates.

For Kaworu, that fate caused him no end of regret. From what he’d seen, humanity was worth saving. For Rei, however, the idea of forming an opinion of her purpose was unfamiliar territory.

For the time being, however, she decided that the boy was right. And as the sun disappeared once again behind the horizon that it would eventually come up from behind, foreshadowing the inescapable reality of her purpose, the First Child decided to enjoy what time she had before fate played itself out.